The theory of Acceptance and ResistanceJuly 25, 2017
Disclaimer: This theory came to me when I began the conversation with this statement.
Me : “You know, what I think is, we should do things when we are ready for life. Not before that, because I hate having that internal conflict with myself and feeling uneasy with my decisions.
Uncle : Okay, so let me give you an example.
Little back story to this example.
My cousin was looking a bit down, and my uncle, aunt and I made it a point to find out what was actually the cause of it. We started to offer our advice. We assumed a lot of things that ‘ we ‘ thought could be the possible cause. However, it wasn’t. Then we asked him and it was about not major but about his weight. I started suggesting a couple of things that he could try to feel better,however, his response to everything we said was, ‘ How can I do, that?’
Okay back to my uncle.
Uncle : So Payal, you see from yesterday nights example. Sometimes in life, we get shot down, because people aren’t ready to accept what you’re saying. He wasn’t ready to take in advice. We all are a little fixated on our thinking. You know and I know that , if he accepted at least one of things you said, you know for sure he would be happier.
Me : Absolutely.
Uncle : You know that because you have tried it, and you found happiness in it. But you were ready to be open-minded and ready to accept new advice.
Me : Actually, you made a point.
Uncle : In life too, when you start working, you surrender your free will and your time to your boss. You do things when they want you to do, not when you choose to do them. Let me give you another example. You plan to watch a movie at 12:30pm, but your boss calls you at 11 am saying, you need to submit a report within 4 hours otherwise you’ll be fired.
So your first reaction would be resistance, saying that it is not possible cause you already have a plan. Right?
Me : Right.
Uncle : That is resistance. It’s absolutely normal to have it. A smart person would change the movie timings to a later show so he can enjoy the movie in peace. That is acceptance.
Me : * Mind blown *
Uncle : Same with your cousin, yesterday night, he just wanted to vent out. So he was resistant to everything we were saying.
Me : Ahh!
Uncle : You love trekking, and you’re on a trek, your friend tells you we can try another alternative route to reach our destination. Your first reaction will be accepted because really the whole point of trekking is to explore. So you take it because new path lead to happiness.
Me : No wonder I’m always happy.
So my point is, in your career, have a higher acceptance level and
Low resistance. It works wonders.
Try adopting it in your career and you’ll start enjoying it.